All washed up

Good morning Staker! Here’s what’s cookin’ today: Coors jumps on the zero alcohol wagon; What exactly is the dead internet; and what it takes to buy David Bowie’s NYC apartment… 

Let’s get into it!

If there was any doubt that non-alcoholic beer is here to stay, then Coors just put that doubt to rest with the announcement that it will launch Coors 0.0% this May in the Northeastern United States, with plans for a full-scale launch slated for next year.

According to Coors Family of Brands vice-president of marketing, Matt Carpenter, “the way people drink is changing,” and the move is a way to “stay in the moment.”

The company is marrying its core identity with where people are today, which is probably best exemplified by the fact that the advertised can of Coors 0.0% is basically identical to a regular can of Coors Light—the brand’s marquee product.

According to the company, the completely dealcoholized beverage comes with “the same crisp, mountain-cold refreshment the brand is known for, but with zero alcohol.”

Its strategy is to align with the modern consumer’s preferences, which includes the growing contingent of young people who limit their alcohol consumption, or are completely avoiding it.

Coors is betting that customers are still interested in the social part of drinking without having to become intoxicated by it. According to Carpenter, Coors 0.0% will help facilitate the “more flexible lifestyle without sacrificing the social ritual of cracking open a cold one.”

For years, tech enthusiasts have speculated that the internet ceased being a repository of user-generated data years ago, and has long been a community of bots regurgitating nonsense.

A study published by Cloudflare in September of last year found almost one third of all internet traffic is now comprised of bots. The company’s CEO later said on a podcast that at some point, it’s likely all information exchanged on the internet will be controlled by just a few tech companies with the assistance of AI.

One dire example of how this prediction has accelerated was covered in another study by Model Republic, which claimed an endless flow of AI-generated news articles were being published by OpenAI-funded super PAC Leading The Future about the benefits of AI.

The articles were generated to create the illusion that a large portion of the internet supports the advancement of AI, while minimizing the threats that it poses.

Yet another study published by the Internet Archive tested several concerns the majority of adults have about the future of AI, including the disappearance of facts, the elimination of citations, and the erosion of unique writing styles.

The study found none of these predictions would unfold as expected in multiple scenarios; however, various scenarios did result in a smaller “range of unique ideas and diverse viewpoints” and writing that “feels increasingly sanitized and artificially cheerful.”

Dystopia isn’t imminent, but the dead internet theory is certainly detecting enough smoke that there may be a fire somewhere.

Primates are pretty clever in general, but orangutans possess a level of intelligence that’s sometimes shocking to the average human observer.

Those in Northern Sumatra’s Pakpak Bharat district are on a Critically-Endangered list, largely due to the degradation of the jungle they inhabit, including roadways that cut through the area and prevent them from moving freely and interbreeding.

The increasing homogeneity of the Sumatran orangutan is the main threat the survival of the species, but thanks to their elite intelligence, that survival may not be as in jeopardy as previously thought.

A camera trap placed on a canopy rope bridge recently captured one orangutan in the area using the bridge to cross over a public road. Due to the social skills and general intelligence of the species, experts believe the behavior will be passed on and learned by other orangutans in the region.

“Waiting for this moment to happen for over 2 years has been excruciating, but now that it has, we’re just overjoyed,” said Hellen Buckland, CEO of the Sumatran Orangutan Society.

“This is absolutely fantastic news for Sumatran orangutans and we would really like to see these bridges go up across all orangutan landscapes, across Indonesia where roads are cutting through forests,” she said.

David Bowie and his wife Iman spent ten years living in Manhattan’s famous J.W. Marriott Essex House, known for its mind-blowing Art Deco interior design, and of course the big neon sign that sits atop its highest tower.

The property is back on the market, this time for just $4.95 million, which is obviously a lot of money, but a sum one may consider a bargain given the condo’s history, its Central Park-facing view, and its gargantuan 1,900 square footage—an amount almost unheard of in the context of Manhattan living spaces.

It was listed for quite a bit more when the condo was previously on the market in 2017. However, that listing’s value was certainly helped along by the inclusion of a piano that belonged to Mr. Stardust himself.

Bowie loved living in New York, and though he and Iman vacated the Essex House in 2002, it was only to move a few dozen blocks south to SoHo.

“I’m here most of the year now,” he wrote for New York Magazine in 2003. “I leave only if work demands it. (I’ve read the rumors about how I have houses elsewhere, but this is it.) I am not a secretive guy, but I am quite private. I live as a citizen pure and simple.”

Who plays what 🎸

Here’s a new game for you, Staker. This one will test your knowledge about musicians and their instruments.